It’s been more
than two years since the last blog was written. During that period, I was
wondering around looking for what is next for me. Then I reach the age where I
can have access to my capital. I decided to work on my dream. One of the items
on my wish list is to do something different - a for profit social entrepreneur
leading to the opening of the physical Tango Café. That was in Feb 2014…at the
beginning it was fun…shopping…buying…shopping….tiles, paint, equipment, tables,
chairs, lighting, pots, pan, bottle, plates, fork, spoon…plants to the point
that I don’t want to see another shop or make another decision on to buy…or not
to buy…this or that.. In May 2015 we opened our door for the first time…then it
was operational related task…looking for staff, buying groceries, looking for
supplier…having to become food technologist by trial and error research…how to
maintain quality of food while being able to dish out as fast as we can…how do
we reduce spoilage…what else can we add to the menu… which product would be a
hit with the customer…which one are the misses … why…more research and
trial…well you get the story..
So the topic
seem apt to what is going on in my life. I was feeling jaded, tired….almost
defeated, almost giving up. Luckily I am blessed to get the support from those
closest to me….I still remember a statement from of the guy whom I bought one
of the equipment from. Nice, cute young Chinese guy answering my question on
why did he quit his business… “penat la kak….kerja teruk tapi takde untung”.
I was going through the same feeling… where I feel like I failed. I was not
getting the result that I was looking for, despite my planning and organizing
capability. I feel like I failed to deliver… not meeting my objectives. I kept
asking the question why? Did I not do enough? Did I not plan enough…what else
can I do? I expected the financial challenge…so I can deal with that…What is
more frustrating is my own expectation of my staff…one of my objective is to
inculcate the learning behavior into my staff. It is not their fault…I was
expecting them to be excited to learn new thing as I am. I was expecting them
to move at my speed when they are just starting…when it does not seem to be
like that I got frustrated….thinking that that I am not appreciated…
So, as I
REFLECT last year, I learn to be proud and savor my achievement. I have done
what I said I wanted to do. My husband reminded me not to give-up…. I am
working on my dream. Not that many people have that opportunity….I am blessed
with the chance to do so….I manage to look at my staff progress in a different
manner….They are learning …at their own pace. They are also testing and pushing
themselves… I know it is not easy working for me…. I know it is not easy
understanding me….but they are still here persevering with me…That in itself is
and accomplishment….I learn to be grateful… I learn again and again that there
is a higher power operating in a way that I may not understand…but I am
thankful and I feel closer to my creator, ALLAH ArRahman and Ar Rahim the most
benevolence and the most Merciful. I also understood why Islam encouraged us to
do business instead of working. Because, I’m given the experience, on a daily
basis, that HE is the ONE to decide my rezeki, not me. I can only do my
best, pray and make sedekah. This is something I’ve never experienced while
getting a salary since I took it for granted that at month-end I get my dues,
regardless.
Through
reflecting, I feel RENEWED and RECHARGED. I am more determined to make TANGO
Café a winning endeavor. I’ll teach my staff through by showing them that we
can succeed. I need to give them a living proof and then share my own
experience of not giving up, to persevere and to continuously learn – to keep
sharpening my own saw – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
